A dirty pile of snow is, of course, the perfect receptacle for your empty beverage container. Among other things.
Pr*tty
I know nothing about coffee, but I suspect no serious coffee drinker would be caught dead drinking this stuff. Which is a shame, because this unassuming, oh-so-not-American design would make a handsome addition to any hand.
Sh*tty
Sometimes, when the design of something is particularly awful, it’s hard to know exactly what to say. The most fitting word I can find is “criminal.” I invite Arizona to keep their tea, and John McCain, to themselves.
Sure, type can be a crystal goblet. But when it’s not, it had better be appropriately communicative.
Sorry about the image taken through the chain link. I’ve included an image from Google Maps street view to better illustrate the conditions.
Pr*tty
If sleeping on a foam bed is anything like the warm embrace of Frankfurter LET, then it might be time to get one. Who doesn’t love to be squoze?
Sh*tty
The nice thing about this emergency room is that your insurance will actually cover your first hour at the waiting room slot machines. After that, you can get back to gambling on your health.
Sometimes, one small thing can tip the balance of a design from good to not so.
A nice ad, and part of a decent campaign. It’s so close, but sorry, no cigar. I trust most of you see what’s wrong here, but seeing as how the designer of this piece missed it, I’ll go ahead and point it out. The first quotation mark is upside down.
Hardly an award-winning masterpiece, but a mostly solid ad. Still, close but no cigar. If you’re looking at this photo of the cute kid with muddy hands, and not thinking, even for a fleeting moment, that that ain’t mud, then you’re not a parent. If you’re still wondering, I’ll give you a hint: there’s a reason this example is number two.
Notable for being quite different than most movie posters, and certainly eye-catching, but there’ll be no cigar for this one either. I think most designers would agree, multiple layers of meaning are important, especially when the design is as simple as this. Sadly, the designer here gave us only one layer of meaning: it’s a gun. Made of guns. Not a gun made of... I don’t know... anything else!Or an anything else made of guns, for that matter.
On another note, how many different Hollywood euphemisms do we need for a hired gun? Mechanic, fixer, cleaner, professional, liquidator, asset, eraser, Chow Yun Fat. Anyone got any others?
This past Sunday, couched in one of the world’s largest annual sporting events, a series of television ads aired. Maybe you’ve heard of them: they’re called Super Bowl Commercials. And they are subject to much critical analysis in the aftermath of their airing.
So who am I resist jumping on the criticism band wagon? Of course, I gotta put a Pr*tty Sh*tty spin on the whole thing, so don’t expect a Top Ten list. Don’t even expect me to address some of the best ads shown—including mytwo personal favorites—or the worst, for that matter.
Instead, forthwith, I give you, in no particular order, Ten Themes present in this year’s—and arguably every year’s—Super Bowl showcase, and offer up a Pr*tty and Sh*tty version of each.
Sex Sells?
Finally, mattress makers address the fact that people do it on their products. Apparently springs are important, the implication being that foam and water beds hinder proper coital maneuverings (anyone care to refute?).
Meanwhile, Kim K. wants to f*ck her shoes. Or something.
Dystopian Alternate Realities A bold move calling out Apple (even subtly) as just another part of the Orwellian machinations of personal electronics consumption. Instead of a thrown hammer, we get a softer touch, and that’s ok, too. This ad also fits nicely into another theme on this list: Dating In The Digital Age.
Meanwhile, the Droid’s thumbs just made me throw up in the 7 layer bean dip. And why on earth is the set up for this ad a guy carrying scissors? He was sent on a special mission to retrieve some rusty, big ass scissors... to cut some delicate gauze? No.
The Way Things Were Surprisingly, Chevy had some decent ads this year. And this one strikes the right tone of building on a history of American innovation, and hard work. Reminiscent of, if not entirely effective as, the commercial for Johnnie Walker I reviewed here before.
Meanwhile, Hyundai tries to boast about progress, while taking a big steaming dump on nostalgia. Apparently clothing, architecture, and bicycle helmets are immune to this time warp.
Commercials About Making Commercials A clever, self-deprecating look at the genre of sports car commercials, that never actually strays from the genre. Nicely played.
Meanwhile, Justron Bieber thinks it’s cool to portray hard-working key grips as fugly pop-illiterates. Nice to see the Geico cavemen make-up artists are still getting work. Also fits nicely into the next category...
One Punchline Will Do, Thank You
Silly perhaps, but it’s got a proper setup and punctuates nicely with the punchline. The added touch of dust coming off of Grandpa brings it on home.
Meanwhile, there’s not enough of a build up toward the finger-licking punchline here. That moment is still kind of funny, but then the weirdo says, “mmm, cheese” and it gets all perverted. Time to spare? Tack on another punchline and up the perversion ante. Good thinking.
Babies, Baby It’s fair to say the E-Trade talking babies have worn out their welcome. But the inclusion, at the end, of spontaneous baby-ness that happens during shooting lends the little bastard some genuine humanity. They could have edited and digitally crafted the perfect scenario, but they rolled with the punches, and I dig that. Is that Nicky Katt doing the voice?
Meanwhile, launching babies into windows is apparently funny, as long as you give it a gelatinous face and have your annoying spokesman say “test baby” afterward. Never mind the fact that I have no idea what this commercial is actually selling.
Puppet Rappers
Well paced. Well animated. Smartly written. Stays on-brand. Might actually sell some tea. I’ll admit, Eminem’s declaration of not doing commercials brings into question why this is one of two ads he was in this Super Bowl, but oh well. This also fits in the category of Commercials About Making Commercials for those of you designing an infographic matrix of Super Bowl commercial themes.
Meanwhile, yes, will.i.am barely qualifies as a rapper, and he’s not technically a puppet, but you get what I’m saying. Despite lots of explanation about what I can do with chatter.com, I’m still not sure why I should use it. And am I the only one who thought this was another Windows “Cloud” commercial at first?
Dating In The Digital Age I’m just old enough to wonder how useful a Facebook connection while driving is, and why it’s an incentive to buy a car, but the budding romance feels genuine and sweet.
Meanwhile, this is setting up a sappy but charming reveal where we discover he’s actually writing to Faith Hill. Instead we get a tit joke. Guys sure is stupid, ain’t we?
Cars Reinvent Their Legacies The gospel choir seems a bit much, and throws off the timing of the “Motor City” line, but this is still a powerful ad. And the tagline “Imported From Detroit” is nothing short of genius.
Meanwhile, Kia wants us to believe this ride is epic. Cut to a bunch of disappointed Apocalypto extras who are just realizing it’s a Kia.
Pr*tty This is almost trying too hard, but the moment the baby animals are released, it takes a turn for the brilliant. It’s a serious what the huh? moment in an already bizarre ad. Then the tagline wraps up the package with a nice little bow. Now if only their logo wasn’t so meh.
Sh*tty This ad only succeeds in painting an image of a place where attractive yuppies walk around and publicly caress one another... and the architecture. Um, yuck. Nothing says romance like losing your life’s savings at the roulette wheel. The music is pretty good at least.
This is akin to Number 10 on the original list, Punny Business, but it’s in its own category I think.
The family names Fowler and Weider on their own are fine, obviously. But you have to wonder about a laundry service that makes your clothes fouler, and exercise equipment that makes you wider.
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