Believe it or not, I like football, but since I haven’t paid much attention to it for a few years now, I’ve decided to base my predictions solely on the teams’ identity designs. I’ll be using the following factors to determine not only the winners, but the scores: the name; logomark/iconography; logotype/typography; color; and helmet graphics.
First up, the AFC. Jets vs. Colts:
NAME: The name “Jets” really has nothing specific to do with NY (except maybe West Side Story), but neither does “Colts” with Indianapolis. But “Jets” is kind of aggressive and tough, where “Colts” is kind of a funny word that isn’t used much colloquially. People just call them horses. The Jets just won the coin toss and have opted to receive.
LOGOMARK/ICON: Here the Colts have a huge advantage. The horseshoe, while a missed typographic opportunity as a letter C, is over-the-top iconic with lots of old school cred. The Jets, oddly, have no icon to speak of, except maybe Gameface. But really, no jet symbol? The Jets have fumbled the kickoff return, and the Colts have recovered it for the touchdown.
TYPE: No question here. The Jets have a highly considered typographic identity (by Michael Bierut, m’kay?). The Colts type is, well, horsey by comparison. The Jets have rallied and drive down the field, eating up the clock, and scoring a touchdown of their own.
COLOR: Blue and white. Green and white. Both simple and unassuming. Blue has nothing to do with horses. Green has nothing to do with jets. But I think the Jets green is a nicer color (by a bit). They’ve battled back and forth, with lots of head to head football. It’s now late in the third quarter and the Jets have managed to kick a field goal from 45 yards out.
HELMET: It’s down to this. The Jets logotype vs. the Colts logomark. That horseshoe is just so damn iconic. Sorry Jets. Peyton Manning just threw an effortless down field bomb for a huge touchdown in the final seconds of the game.
FINAL SCORE: Colts: 14 – Jets: 10
Next up, the NFC. Vikings vs. Saints:
NAME: This is a tough one. “Vikings” certainly suits the nordic history of Minnesota. And vikings were pretty badass. But “Saints” is such a nice sounding word. And they have organized religion on their side. In an unprecedented coin toss, the coin lands on its edge on the turf, wobbles momentarily, and the noise of the Superdome crowd causes it to topple, miraculously, in favor of the Saints who choose to receive.
LOGOMARK/ICON: While there are worse NFL team logos, the Viking character cannot compete with the long (and I mean long) iconic history of the fleur de lis. It’s been a steady and calculated first drive for the Saints, and they march into the end zone halfway through the first quarter.
TYPE: I don’t exactly love the Saints’ typography, but let’s face it, the Vikings’ is effing abysmal. Are they vikings or cattle? The Vikings have fumbled and the Saints capitalize with a field goal in the second.
COLOR: Ordinarily I don’t dig on gold as a color. But I think it works for the Saints, especially paired with the black. The Vikings once again are at a disadvantage... honestly, purple? Are they Vikings or big goofy dinosaurs? The Saints, fresh from half-time, waste no time scoring a decisive and demoralizing touchdown early in the third.
HELMET: There’s no question, the fleur de lis is powerful iconic, and the Saints do themselves a favor by just running with it. But the viking horns are truly inspired. Good on ya, Vikings. Brett Favre is the consummate leader. He rallies the team for a stunning series of passes down field. But the resulting touchdown late in the third only serves to bolster the Saints defense in the remaining quarter, which ends scoreless.
FINAL SCORE: Saints: 17 – Vikings: 7
There you have it. Place your bets.
If any of this turns out to be remotely correct, I’m quitting my job and becoming a psychic. Maybe I’ll read people’s business cards instead of their palms.